i got a feeling

I got a feeling that it's going to be a sad birthday for me. That no matter what I do, that no matter where I am, it's going to be sad.

I have planned to spend my birthday in Boracay just like last year when I really had fun. I was with my BFFs and I was still with my long-time boyfriend before. We rode the ATV, Zorb, paraw and went parasailing too. I ate the most delish food in fact, it's Jona's shake that inspired me to go back and spend my birthday there. I was excited with the idea that I will finally have a sole soul trip. No pressures. Just myself in a wonderful place with wonderful experiences. I even learned yoga cos I have dreamt about doing yoga at my suite's balcony. Fabulous times is what I have been daydreaming about for my upcoming birthday.

But lately, I feel like I've been so unlucky no matter how I strive to stay positive above all these bs. My first gift to myself, a Liz Claiborne wallet, was stolen together with my important IDs and all. Because of that, my budget for my birthday trip was slashed. I have to stay in a cheaper hotel and I can't buy a new swimsuit and beach-clothes. Instead of having a full waxing job, I have to settle with a full leg, brazilian, underarm and face waxing. And just now, I realized, my P1000 is gone. Sure, it's just P1000 but my budget is really tight now because portion of it was already stolen.

Now I'm having second thoughts. A part of me just want to lock myself in my room and cry my heart out. A part of me wants to push through with my plans only instead of having good times, i'm going to cry my heart out. I just want to be left alone.

EMO birthday. How exciting.