long overdue (drunken post)

So apparently, I have readers. haha! It's unbelievable but the facts have been laid down on me so.

I guess I have to be more consistent in posting stuff but recently, things have been quite complicated so I can't really broadcast what's happening to yours truly... I might have the same fate as Mark Zuckerberg. Not referring to the billions of dollars out of a new invention but the several law suit because "I was drunk and angry and stupid...and blogging" haha!

So now, as forecasted, the trending topic is about Manny Pacquiao winning his 8th boxing world title. It's a happy thing and all but I'm not really interested in it. In fact, the reason I'm blogging is to keep myself from the Manny Pacquiao craze. I just hate hearing the commentators. They talk as if they know everything. Such show-offs! I can't tolerate it.

One thing more, I think it's sad that most of us Filipinos needs to wait for something like this to be proud of being Pinoys. Why do we need to wait for Charisse Pempengco to penetrate in to Hollywood, for Manny Pacquiao to be hailed as the "Greatest Boxer" or for any Filipino to do well in their craft in the international arena? Can't we be proud of our heritage sans the achievements of our fellow Pinoys? But yeah, it's still good that we are proud of being Filipinos during times like this. 

You know what I love during the Pacquiao fights aside from the zero crime rate? There's not too many people in the malls!!! Meaning, I can do my shopping rounds without the hassles of long queues to the cashier or the fitting room and other hassles brought about by mall-congestion. Haha! Happy shopping ladies!!! Let's take advantage of this time when the guys are hooked to the TiVo. Finally, you have freedom to shop without your boyfriend or husband asking about your purchases. Haha!

Tip: You can have the same shopping-freedom during the NBA season which is now!!! So just play cool about these things. Boys will not grow out their fascination to Dota, to basketball and all the guy stuff but we can be creative on how to deal with those. haha!

No, I'm not drunk but this post seems like it's written by a drunk person... it's all over the place. But hey, it's a blog so. haha! :)

hard-hitting questions

I was at Boracay a few days back but this time, I was with my BFFs; not alone. I actually enjoyed my time there, eating my heart out without any guilt just because I'm the thinnest amongst us and because my bikinis and monakini were all falling off. (eewww!) We all went together for our friend's wedding but more than that, we had our much needed pep-talk to and for each other, especially me being always the troubled one. I mostly had my pep-talk from my single friend, Jan who I'm always with because the other two were spending some of their time with their respective boyfriends. I love talking to Jan because she always "gets" me even when I couldn't explain myself. She would always show another perspective of the whole scenario I am in and most of the time, it would lead me to a solution to my issues. And I love how she just bombard me with questions until I find my answer and not just lay out all her opinions about my issues.

Not a lot of people know about the relationships or might I say, pseudo-relationships I had the past few months. It's been a year since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me and I have made a huge effort to open up myself to other people for a possible happy-ending with them. There's this one guy who have became my almost-lover. We never really talked about the label of our relationship but we enjoyed spending time together. I also never really talked about him to anyone but only to my BFFs which are the girls I was with in Boracay. That guy and I have parted ways already but not in a good way. It's sad that we ended up that way but that's the way life goes.

Jan asked me, "Did you really had feelings for him?" I have already moved on from him and I am happier now with another guy (who calls me doll). It's kinda sad that people think I just used "him" to get over my broken heart and I dumped him as soon as my current love came in, but I didn't. I didn't use him. Did I had feelings for him? I guess I would say, I love how he made me feel. I love how he gives me time, how he goes over his tabs for me and how he's different in a good way when he's with me. I never felt a strong love for him but I did open myself to him. I gave him time and chance for us to have that connection. I have searched deep within me if I there is a possibility for us to be more than just friends. For some reason, just when I thought that we have a shot of being a couple, something in me just died and the possibility of us being a couple got lost too.

It was not his fault but neither was it mine. I didn't use him. I had feelings for him but it was not enough to commit to him. I have searched my heart for his spot and tried to nurture that but it failed. I have nothing to complain about him, he's all that and more but it's just not him for me. I guess my only fault was I never explained myself to him. He just found one day that I stopped going out with him. I'm not really good at "dumping" people. I never said no, I just disappeared. He deserves more than that. He deserves a last talk with me but I can't handle it now.But for what it's worth, I did have feelings for him.

a prayer

Based on true to life story which happened minutes ago...

Him: Diyos ko po!
Tulungan nyo ko!
Mahal ko tong babaeng to
Pero ayaw nya maniwala!

Me: wrong sent po. ipadala mo yan sa langit. hehe!

Him: oo nga pala.
ayan, na-send na.

i'm a bird. i take flight.

WARNING: This is an emo post. Skip reading this if you can't tolerate emotional reads.


These are true events in my life that tells me that I'm a bird.

1. The bus I was riding zig-zagged along EDSA and finally crashed to a tree in Crame due to reckless driving. I was injured.  I had cuts and bruises all over and a few of my bones got sprained. Instead of staying in the accident scene and be interviewed by the policemen and receive due assistance from the bus Operator, I hailed a cab and went to work. I'm a bird. I take flight.

2. Once, a sweet-faced girl betrayed the "unspoken ally" between girls and evaded my relationship with my long-time boyfriend. Unlike other girls, I never confronted the girl. Not even a single text or email. I just stayed quite all throughout the whole ordeal until my boyfriend called it quits. A few months ago, the girl reached out to me and apologized for what she did. I told her to forget about the incident but I can't be chummies with her just like what she wants. I don't fight. I'm a bird. I take flight.

3. Recently, I felt bad about an "uncalled for" incident in the workplace. I might be over-reacting. I might be overly sensitive but I just really felt bad about it. I never knew how it is to have panic attacks until that fateful day. No one knows about this because like I always do, I stay mum all throughout the whole ordeal. I do not wish to talk about this in detail but maybe with this brief explanation, people might understand the effect of that small incident on me. I never had encountered anything like that maybe because I was a "sheltered" girl. Nonetheless, I take that my feelings are valid so like I always do in times like this, I choose flight than fight. I'm a bird. I take flight.


It's probably not the smartest thing to do especially if the consequences of taking flight are too high. Right now, although I disagree, I have to accept that even though I've given them the most sincere service that I can give them, I will leave with a bad reputation. It's unfair on my part because in my point of view, I was the one who was oppressed. But even with these high stakes, I still choose to take flight because I can't suck it up anymore. I wish that someday, people will remember my goodness instead of that one incident that caused me this much. Maybe someday, I will also find it in my heart to forgive but right now, I choose the easiest way out, to take flight.

work avoidance

I have to admit, work sucks these days and it's just too bad that a chock-full of my time is spent in there. So now, I concentrate on how to isolate myself from all these sucky stuff.

Of course, ipod never fails! I listen to happy tunes to lift my spirits even for just a teeny bit. Right now, I listen to I Am Sam OST and 50 1st Dates OST. Oldies but goodies! I know they are not as perky as what's in Nimmy's playlist but whenever I hear these songs, I remember the scenes from both movies and my heart becomes full of love again. :) I like movies or songs or books or what have you that doesn't necessarily have a "love" word but it screams LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

If you can't understand what I mean check out:
Two of us - The Beatles
Strawberry Swing - Coldplay
Signal Fire - Snow Patrol
Satellite Heart - Anya Marina
Breathing - Lifehouse
and a lot more :)

Another thing that I also do to relieve myself from the sucky work stuff is I quietly surf on all things pretty! And by that, I meant pretty fashion stuff 'cause uhm, I'm a little bit into fashion. teehee! My favorite websites are:
http://jakandjil.com/blog/
http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/
http://www.frugal-fashionistas.com/
http://www.whowhatwear.com/website/home.php
http://www.style.com/


Most of all, I go out the office as soon as I can. I feel blissful everytime I reach my room! I just feel so happy that I'm no longer at the office.

I know this can't go on forever. This is just a phase and I'll get out of this phase with grace as soon as I figured things out with the universe. :)

me and my crazy food cravings

It feels like forever since I last blogged. Oh well, forgive the busy girl. Haha!

Anyways, I have a story about my crazy food cravings lately. (I know, may last post was about food but I love food!) So, my friends have been making fun of me because of my cravings. Last night, I was craving for green mangoes and just now, I was craving for Pinakbet. You know that feeling when out of nowhere, it's like you can actually taste the food in your mouth? I even smell it right under my nose but it's not really there, not anywhere near too. It's really crazy and I've never been like this before. My friends tease me that maybe I'm preggers but I know I'm not because I don't have a sex life. As in zero. Nada.

Maybe, it's just hormones? For whatever reason it maybe, I hate these food cravings because I can't easily shake it off. It's a pain in the ass, you have no idea. I'm thinking, maybe someday when I'm preggers, my food cravings will be much more crazy! I pity the baby-daddy already. Haha!

what i do in the middle of the night

Touchdown, parent's house!!! Woohoo!!! I was so looking forward to yummy, home-cooked food care of my dad and mom and uncles and aunties ('cause I get to have round 2 of every meal from my relatives living in our compound). Haha!

It was already late when I came home. My brother and parents are already sleeping. My sister is out and will arrive early morning. I have a cousin who lives with my family and he's the only one awake. He was busy facebooking so I went to my brother's desktop and went farmvilling too. Haha! I guess my excitement is not making me feel sleepy yet.

After a few minutes, my cousin went to bed. I was bored farmvilling so I went to the kitchen and right in the middle of the dining table is ARIEL & FE's ROASTED CHICKEN!!! Woot woot! I'm so not hungry but I'm bored and I know the chicken taste good so I said to myself, what about a midnight snack, skinny b*tch? Haha!

So there I was, downing the sumptous roasted chicken with skin and all its vein-blocking fats. I was happy! No one will ever know what I do in the middle of the night. I was thinking that maybe the chicken was for my sister. I hope she won't notice that the chicken is gone. Hehe!

So, you know that part of the movie when the character is all happy without any sight of the villain but poof! the villian comes out from nowhere? This is this part. My dad woke up. So I tried my best to be silent. I didn't move. Heck, I didn't even breathe. But he went out of their room and there I was, looking like a construction worker so tired from the day's work, pigging out on the chicken using my hands, with one leg up in the chair. Hehe! Caught red-handed. If he ever thinks that I'm anorexic, for sure all those worries are gone.

So tomorrow, if someone looks for the chicken, my "unsuspicious" look won't do wonders for me anymore. My dad is an eye-witness. Or maybe he was sleep walking? Hehe!