i'm a bird. i take flight.

WARNING: This is an emo post. Skip reading this if you can't tolerate emotional reads.


These are true events in my life that tells me that I'm a bird.

1. The bus I was riding zig-zagged along EDSA and finally crashed to a tree in Crame due to reckless driving. I was injured.  I had cuts and bruises all over and a few of my bones got sprained. Instead of staying in the accident scene and be interviewed by the policemen and receive due assistance from the bus Operator, I hailed a cab and went to work. I'm a bird. I take flight.

2. Once, a sweet-faced girl betrayed the "unspoken ally" between girls and evaded my relationship with my long-time boyfriend. Unlike other girls, I never confronted the girl. Not even a single text or email. I just stayed quite all throughout the whole ordeal until my boyfriend called it quits. A few months ago, the girl reached out to me and apologized for what she did. I told her to forget about the incident but I can't be chummies with her just like what she wants. I don't fight. I'm a bird. I take flight.

3. Recently, I felt bad about an "uncalled for" incident in the workplace. I might be over-reacting. I might be overly sensitive but I just really felt bad about it. I never knew how it is to have panic attacks until that fateful day. No one knows about this because like I always do, I stay mum all throughout the whole ordeal. I do not wish to talk about this in detail but maybe with this brief explanation, people might understand the effect of that small incident on me. I never had encountered anything like that maybe because I was a "sheltered" girl. Nonetheless, I take that my feelings are valid so like I always do in times like this, I choose flight than fight. I'm a bird. I take flight.


It's probably not the smartest thing to do especially if the consequences of taking flight are too high. Right now, although I disagree, I have to accept that even though I've given them the most sincere service that I can give them, I will leave with a bad reputation. It's unfair on my part because in my point of view, I was the one who was oppressed. But even with these high stakes, I still choose to take flight because I can't suck it up anymore. I wish that someday, people will remember my goodness instead of that one incident that caused me this much. Maybe someday, I will also find it in my heart to forgive but right now, I choose the easiest way out, to take flight.

make it real or take it all away

I guess I use my heart more than I should so I get heart-broken more than anyone else could. Even if I know that the stakes of being hurt are high, I still followed my heart and believed in that tiny little probability that maybe, this time it won't hurt. That maybe this time, I'll have my happy-ever-after. I should've believed in statistics but it's too late now. Here I am again, under depression with cuts and bruises and all. I feel like I'm in trauma but then again, I've been like this before. I tell myself to learn from it but I fail everytime. I suck at matters of the hearts and most probably, I'll be this way again next time and for the rest of my life (knock on wood). So now I build tall and thick walls once again but I know I'll let it collapse again... sooner than I wish and pray and should have. I'm such a dumb really when it comes to love. God, help me.

i ask you

Now, it's my turn ;)