hello hello

Do you still know me? Sorry for the long lag but saying "I've been busy" would be an understatement, honestly.

So work has been taking much of my time that I haven't gotten any haircut since I left my previous job. Bwahaha! My eyebrows are no longer "tamed" it's like a wild forest actually but whenever there are cancelled meetings and tasks can wait for an hour, I grab the chance to run to the nearby mall, in a facial center, and have my eyebrows and underarms threaded. My sched is that busy.

My personal life also eats up my time. I have a boyfriend now but it's an LDR kinda thing so most of my time are spent in front of my laptop, skyping with him. He even bought me an iphone4 so we can "viber" and "facetime" which is much more cheaper than IDD. haha! Overall though, I'm so happy and excited for things to unfold between us. Most of the time, I wish he was here. Especially when I'm put up to make a decision for both of us or in times of confusion or whenever I feel like giving up because the stakes are too high. Everytime I hit the bed to sleep, I miss him. I wish I was sharing my bed with him, sleeping beside him, waking up next to him.

LDRs are really challenging but it's possible to make it work. I always hear negative comments from people about us being a hundred miles away but honestly, I'm much more closer to him than my room mate or anyone so to speak. We talk in a way that nobody else can talk to him or me. We're bestfriends and we feel whatever each of us feels even if we are not together physically just because we are completely honest with each other and we take the time out of our busy schedules to communicate.

Then again, LDRs are hard so, we are taking steps to end our long distance relationship and be together already.

good job

As you all know, I have been job-hunting a few weeks ago. Because of my experience, I had the opportunity to choose which work I like and not just apply and pray to be accepted to any company. Here are some of my wishes:

Salary - secret! haha!
Benefits - healthcard, at least 10 VLs and 10 SLs (convertible to cash)
Encourages work-life balance
Near our house
Flexible schedule or at least not graveyard shift
Follows Philippine holidays (sana)
Supports trainings
Work value (ayoko ng maliit lang ang contribution ng trabaho ko sa company)
Work environment where I can learn
No cost cutting on supplies (tissue, water, notebook, ballpen, pencil)
Own pedestal
Clean CRs (sana may bidet)
ANG PINAKA-IMPORTANTE - somewhere na I think makakapag-ipon na ako finally. hehe!

Fortunately, God has blessed me with this new job. I'm really thankful kase pati yung bidet napagbigyan at marami pang bonus! I get to work with the smartest people and hopefully soon, I can adopt how their mind works. The company also thinks that their best asset is their people so you can imagine how much I am being taken care of... no shortages on tissue or notebook or laptop or trainings. And as early as my 3rd day, we are already talking about a succession plan. Flexi sched, VLs and holidays allows me to spend more time with people that are important to me. At ang pinaka-importante sa lahat, makakapag-ipon na ako! My main office is just a P7 jeepney ride away and I get to bring pack lunch to save.

Right now, all I can see are the positive things. Maybe I'm still in the honeymoon stage but honestly, I have never valued any job just like how much I value this current work that I have. I hope everything works out great!    

long overdue (drunken post)

So apparently, I have readers. haha! It's unbelievable but the facts have been laid down on me so.

I guess I have to be more consistent in posting stuff but recently, things have been quite complicated so I can't really broadcast what's happening to yours truly... I might have the same fate as Mark Zuckerberg. Not referring to the billions of dollars out of a new invention but the several law suit because "I was drunk and angry and stupid...and blogging" haha!

So now, as forecasted, the trending topic is about Manny Pacquiao winning his 8th boxing world title. It's a happy thing and all but I'm not really interested in it. In fact, the reason I'm blogging is to keep myself from the Manny Pacquiao craze. I just hate hearing the commentators. They talk as if they know everything. Such show-offs! I can't tolerate it.

One thing more, I think it's sad that most of us Filipinos needs to wait for something like this to be proud of being Pinoys. Why do we need to wait for Charisse Pempengco to penetrate in to Hollywood, for Manny Pacquiao to be hailed as the "Greatest Boxer" or for any Filipino to do well in their craft in the international arena? Can't we be proud of our heritage sans the achievements of our fellow Pinoys? But yeah, it's still good that we are proud of being Filipinos during times like this. 

You know what I love during the Pacquiao fights aside from the zero crime rate? There's not too many people in the malls!!! Meaning, I can do my shopping rounds without the hassles of long queues to the cashier or the fitting room and other hassles brought about by mall-congestion. Haha! Happy shopping ladies!!! Let's take advantage of this time when the guys are hooked to the TiVo. Finally, you have freedom to shop without your boyfriend or husband asking about your purchases. Haha!

Tip: You can have the same shopping-freedom during the NBA season which is now!!! So just play cool about these things. Boys will not grow out their fascination to Dota, to basketball and all the guy stuff but we can be creative on how to deal with those. haha!

No, I'm not drunk but this post seems like it's written by a drunk person... it's all over the place. But hey, it's a blog so. haha! :)

hard-hitting questions

I was at Boracay a few days back but this time, I was with my BFFs; not alone. I actually enjoyed my time there, eating my heart out without any guilt just because I'm the thinnest amongst us and because my bikinis and monakini were all falling off. (eewww!) We all went together for our friend's wedding but more than that, we had our much needed pep-talk to and for each other, especially me being always the troubled one. I mostly had my pep-talk from my single friend, Jan who I'm always with because the other two were spending some of their time with their respective boyfriends. I love talking to Jan because she always "gets" me even when I couldn't explain myself. She would always show another perspective of the whole scenario I am in and most of the time, it would lead me to a solution to my issues. And I love how she just bombard me with questions until I find my answer and not just lay out all her opinions about my issues.

Not a lot of people know about the relationships or might I say, pseudo-relationships I had the past few months. It's been a year since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me and I have made a huge effort to open up myself to other people for a possible happy-ending with them. There's this one guy who have became my almost-lover. We never really talked about the label of our relationship but we enjoyed spending time together. I also never really talked about him to anyone but only to my BFFs which are the girls I was with in Boracay. That guy and I have parted ways already but not in a good way. It's sad that we ended up that way but that's the way life goes.

Jan asked me, "Did you really had feelings for him?" I have already moved on from him and I am happier now with another guy (who calls me doll). It's kinda sad that people think I just used "him" to get over my broken heart and I dumped him as soon as my current love came in, but I didn't. I didn't use him. Did I had feelings for him? I guess I would say, I love how he made me feel. I love how he gives me time, how he goes over his tabs for me and how he's different in a good way when he's with me. I never felt a strong love for him but I did open myself to him. I gave him time and chance for us to have that connection. I have searched deep within me if I there is a possibility for us to be more than just friends. For some reason, just when I thought that we have a shot of being a couple, something in me just died and the possibility of us being a couple got lost too.

It was not his fault but neither was it mine. I didn't use him. I had feelings for him but it was not enough to commit to him. I have searched my heart for his spot and tried to nurture that but it failed. I have nothing to complain about him, he's all that and more but it's just not him for me. I guess my only fault was I never explained myself to him. He just found one day that I stopped going out with him. I'm not really good at "dumping" people. I never said no, I just disappeared. He deserves more than that. He deserves a last talk with me but I can't handle it now.But for what it's worth, I did have feelings for him.

a prayer

Based on true to life story which happened minutes ago...

Him: Diyos ko po!
Tulungan nyo ko!
Mahal ko tong babaeng to
Pero ayaw nya maniwala!

Me: wrong sent po. ipadala mo yan sa langit. hehe!

Him: oo nga pala.
ayan, na-send na.

i'm a bird. i take flight.

WARNING: This is an emo post. Skip reading this if you can't tolerate emotional reads.


These are true events in my life that tells me that I'm a bird.

1. The bus I was riding zig-zagged along EDSA and finally crashed to a tree in Crame due to reckless driving. I was injured.  I had cuts and bruises all over and a few of my bones got sprained. Instead of staying in the accident scene and be interviewed by the policemen and receive due assistance from the bus Operator, I hailed a cab and went to work. I'm a bird. I take flight.

2. Once, a sweet-faced girl betrayed the "unspoken ally" between girls and evaded my relationship with my long-time boyfriend. Unlike other girls, I never confronted the girl. Not even a single text or email. I just stayed quite all throughout the whole ordeal until my boyfriend called it quits. A few months ago, the girl reached out to me and apologized for what she did. I told her to forget about the incident but I can't be chummies with her just like what she wants. I don't fight. I'm a bird. I take flight.

3. Recently, I felt bad about an "uncalled for" incident in the workplace. I might be over-reacting. I might be overly sensitive but I just really felt bad about it. I never knew how it is to have panic attacks until that fateful day. No one knows about this because like I always do, I stay mum all throughout the whole ordeal. I do not wish to talk about this in detail but maybe with this brief explanation, people might understand the effect of that small incident on me. I never had encountered anything like that maybe because I was a "sheltered" girl. Nonetheless, I take that my feelings are valid so like I always do in times like this, I choose flight than fight. I'm a bird. I take flight.


It's probably not the smartest thing to do especially if the consequences of taking flight are too high. Right now, although I disagree, I have to accept that even though I've given them the most sincere service that I can give them, I will leave with a bad reputation. It's unfair on my part because in my point of view, I was the one who was oppressed. But even with these high stakes, I still choose to take flight because I can't suck it up anymore. I wish that someday, people will remember my goodness instead of that one incident that caused me this much. Maybe someday, I will also find it in my heart to forgive but right now, I choose the easiest way out, to take flight.

work avoidance

I have to admit, work sucks these days and it's just too bad that a chock-full of my time is spent in there. So now, I concentrate on how to isolate myself from all these sucky stuff.

Of course, ipod never fails! I listen to happy tunes to lift my spirits even for just a teeny bit. Right now, I listen to I Am Sam OST and 50 1st Dates OST. Oldies but goodies! I know they are not as perky as what's in Nimmy's playlist but whenever I hear these songs, I remember the scenes from both movies and my heart becomes full of love again. :) I like movies or songs or books or what have you that doesn't necessarily have a "love" word but it screams LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

If you can't understand what I mean check out:
Two of us - The Beatles
Strawberry Swing - Coldplay
Signal Fire - Snow Patrol
Satellite Heart - Anya Marina
Breathing - Lifehouse
and a lot more :)

Another thing that I also do to relieve myself from the sucky work stuff is I quietly surf on all things pretty! And by that, I meant pretty fashion stuff 'cause uhm, I'm a little bit into fashion. teehee! My favorite websites are:
http://jakandjil.com/blog/
http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/
http://www.frugal-fashionistas.com/
http://www.whowhatwear.com/website/home.php
http://www.style.com/


Most of all, I go out the office as soon as I can. I feel blissful everytime I reach my room! I just feel so happy that I'm no longer at the office.

I know this can't go on forever. This is just a phase and I'll get out of this phase with grace as soon as I figured things out with the universe. :)